adric | Nap? No nap.

adric: Ugh. Didn't work. I executed the hibernate command, and the screen dimmed, but the processors and the disks never would shut off. Gave up after a few minutes of loud disk activity and blank screen and woke it up.

I feel slightly sleepy. It's not enough to actually let me sleep, just to feel a little tired, and my eyes a little tired too. It makes it unpleasant to try and read anything interesting, much less hack or try to do anything that requires focus. I hate this. It ranks right next to laying in bed not sleeping as my least favourite thing about mortal existence. And I can recall weeks, months, maybe years of it only a few years back.

The more things change... the more you realize they didn't change. Augh

Slightly later, I did not cry.

adric: 3:38: I'm worried enough about bwing able to get to work, and do my job, that all of this other stuff is too far away to care about.
adric 3:43: So, yeah it's get to work, be able to do job, go to stupid work party, somehow go back to work. *shrug*
adric: 3:45: Oh, and just for today, family crap.
adric: 3:46: Anyway, I 'm trying to figure out how to manage the clothes shopping thing, but I can't go out tonight. thanks for trying to think of ways for it to be fun for me.

3:36:32 PM adric: I ...
3:37:04 PM adric: Damnit I can barely convince myself to leave the house at all right
 now. I can't go to that tonight :(
3:38:07 PM her: honey... why? what is wrong?
3:38:32 PM adric: I'm hardly certain. I had my eyes closd for the last minute or so.
3:39:27 PM adric: I'm worried enough about bwing able to get to work,
 and do my job, that all of this other stuff is too far away to care about.
3:39:50 PM adric: and as much as I hate the stupid party and am mad at 
you for your part in it, I really don't want to be an ass to you.
3:40:12 PM her: good grief.
3:40:34 PM adric: But I have no idea if that has much to do with 
whattheffuck is wrong with me, this week.
3:40:53 PM her: I don't want to make you upset, but I just fail to 
see what the big deal is about a holiday party that is meant to be fun
3:41:03 PM her: I blame SAD
3:41:07 PM her: and general chemical wonkiness
3:41:13 PM adric: Yeah, that is definitely i there.
3:41:26 PM her: honey, you have insurance. PLEASE go to a doctor.
3:41:41 PM her: You need a sleep study and probably some basic antidepressants.
3:41:43 PM adric: yeah, I have figured out those parts, 
just haven't been able to do anything about them, and stupid schedule flip has made worse.
3:42:24 PM adric: I have a deep lack of belief that that would help. 
And it's no time to talk about it anyway.
3:42:38 PM her: sure, sure
3:43:29 PM adric: So, yeah it's get to work, be able to do job, 
go to stupid work party, somehow go back to work. *shrug*
3:45:32 PM adric: Oh, and just for today, family crap.
3:46:16 PM adric: Anyway, I 'm trying to figure out how to 
manage the clothes shopping thing, but I can't go out tonight. 
thanks for trying to think of ways for it to be fun for me.
3:47:38 PM her: :(

... rest is boring crap about not being able to figure out my size in boy clothes...