So, wtf is it?

[adric]

So, in last night's discussion, at least one of the purposes of this work¹ came up(viz. what is love, at least as people speak of it), and an answer was suggested. I don't like it very much.

Is love just infatuation that lasts a long(er) time? The idea of "the person who first comes to your mind" is romantic, but surely that's more subject to logistics and scheduling than anything else .. and the idea of someone who only they can make you feel better when you are down .. sounds a little bit off. Not that's it isn't an attractive idea, mind you. I do get that part.

Overall even, I don't buy this. Infatuation (previously referred to in these pages as "chick-on-the-brain") is transitory, is it not? Is this not the same commonly cited error as mixing up "crushes" (aka puppy love) with "real love" (whatever that is).

I understand the long term aspect, and the commitment it implies. It's completely daunting and improbable, but I can certainly understand the appeal.

Bah. Seems that experiment's failure was completely non-productive. I don't seem to have learned anything, and that pisses me off.

¹: By which we mean obviously slamming my head against a brick wall in a steady rhythm dating

Edit 21:18: updated the upic with a more appropriate one

Comments

[warsop.livejournal.com]

My favourite definition of love comes from Spider Robinson: when the other person's happiness is essential to your own.

[adric]

I need to actually read some of 'im (them?). Where to start?

Back on topic, this is somewhat muffled by the Whitney Houston doctrine I used last night..

[warsop.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Depends on where your tastes lie. If you like humour and punning (lots of punning), read his Callahan's series. They should probably be read in order. For some good traditional SF, read his Stardance books (co-authored with his wife). He's got a couple of collections of short stories which are good.

I would not start with anything that he's published after 2000 or so. It's a lot weaker, and some of his themes get rather repetitive. If you read his older stuff and like it, then you can read the more recent material.

[kittyglitter.livejournal.com]

Love is, in my experience, awful. Even when its good it drives you batshit insane.

[xantha.livejournal.com]

i rather suspect it is different for everyone. ;) It's not just a longer infatuation FOR ME. There's a whole bit of "someone who makes you want to be a better person" thing, but I know that's not how it works for everyone. Then for me, there's a whole intangible, indescribable part that... just is.

But I am pretty sure everyone has his/her/? own thing.

Thanks for trying..

[adric]

Thanks for the Nichelson quote, that one's good at least.

Intangible and indescribable? Wtf is this theology now? :P

Re: Thanks for trying..

[xantha.livejournal.com]

heheheh!

the funny thing is that my dad gave me what amounted to the nicholson quote long before that movie came out... same idea. seems to resonate. ;)

[feyrieprincess.livejournal.com]

You are talking about limerace
Love is not a feeling. It is something you do. Love is that which you take care of.

[adric]

So, it's all decisions, priorities and actions, in your view. I have to say I like that better..

What's 'limerace' ?

[polychromatic22.livejournal.com]

Some of my favorite definitions of love:

Love is what happens when you stop looking at the shadows, turn around and look at the person. (having to do with plato's cave/shadows analogy of life and human interaction)

Love is infinite. There is no end to the amount, or variation to the type, of love one can feel.

Love is grokking.

Love is a verb. It is an action.

Romantic love is that glimmer of awareness of someone else's existence and the wish to immerse yourself in that awareness.

That is also infinite.

Love is gleeful. Love is ecstatic. Love is sad. Love is happy.

Love is.